One of my favorite places to visit growing up was the science museum and the planetarium. Apart from the opportunity to buy space ice cream just like the astronauts used to eat and getting a closer look at the planets and stars in the planetarium shows, one of the displays at the museum that fascinated me the most was the pendulum hanging from a long cable from the top of the three-story building. The attendant told me that without friction, a pendulum would swing back and forth indefinitely. As a kid, I didn’t understand what friction meant. All I heard…

Photo by Daan Stevens on Unsplash

Ten years ago, my rejection wound was reopened. The details are not important. The bottom line is that two men whom I trusted made decisions that affected me in a way that ripped open my rejection wound. I felt completely useless, worthless, and depressed, and even suicidal.

About ten years ago, my family moved into a new house. Situated near the front of the house were three young palm trees, each about 12 feet high. My wife and I were not really excited about the palm trees. Our realtor offered to pull them out for free. For some reason, we decided to keep them.

As the years went by, my wife and I commented on how much we really didn’t like those trees. But, we continued to tolerate their existence because we just didn’t have the energy to do anything else with them. …

Nobody got time for that.” is an expression I hear clients tell me often.

Usually, we are talking about the power of meditation and its ability to help calm our senses and bring us to a place of greater peace and serenity. When they ask, “For how long should I meditate?” and I answer with the preferable recommendation of two times a day for twenty minutes, they respond with various versions of “Nobody got time for that!”

I can relate. It seems in the busyness of life, taking 20 minutes to meditate and ground myself seems almost impossible some days.

Lately, I have been reading more about surrender. It is definitely a concept that is difficult for a lot of people to understand. Surrender often times has a connotation of waving the white flag and giving up one’s power to the enemy. However, in recovery, surrender is looked at differently. Surrendering does not mean that we give up our power to the enemy, it means that we give up our power and will to the Captain of our Army who can help us continue to defend against the enemy. …

I am not a mechanic. I know how to change the oil, replace a tire, and add windshield wiper fluid, but that is the extent of my auto mechanic skills. To prove my point, one time, when my radiator was low on fluid, I opened the oil cap of my vehicle, stuck in the garden hose, and turned on the water. It took me about 30 seconds to realize I was pouring water into my engine and not the radiator. I called my brother, a mechanic who lives on the other side of the country to ask what to do…

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to go to a men’s retreat. It is always a rejuvenating time for me to reflect on the kind of man that I want to be. One of the activities available over the weekend was rope belaying. Each of us was instructed on the components of the gear and process so that we could have the safest experience possible. There were a few different activities in which we could participate including walking a tightrope more than 16 feet in the air.

A little background is necessary. I am afraid of heights. I…

In my previous post, I wrote about my struggles with being different than many of the boys in my class. In elementary school, most of the boys would run off to play soccer during recess. I had absolutely no desire to do that. So, I hung around with the girls. One of my nicknames was Troy, Troy, the Loverboy, because I was always running around chasing the girls.

I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I just didn’t have an interest in playing soccer. It wasn’t that I was opposed to playing with the boys. In fact, I…

Hi, I’m Troy. I’m adopted.

That was how I introduced myself when I was a kid. I was adopted at five days old in a closed adoption. Growing up, I never knew who my biological parents were. My parents told me from as young as I can remember that I was adopted. They told me that Adoption means “Special Love.”

My parents loved me. The problem was, they had a hard time loving themselves. Growing up, there was a lot of domestic violence taking place in our home. …

Photo Courtesy Adobe Stock Photos

How many of you have so much peace in your life that there isn’t room for any more? When I ask that question at the beginning of my presentations, only 1% of the audience raises their hands. The rest of the audience usually stares in either complete disbelief or envy.

Recently, my wife introduced my daughter to the movie Ms. Congeniality where Sandra Bullock’s character goes undercover to save the national beauty pageant from a catastrophic terrorist plot. …

Troy L. Love, LCSW

Amazon-Best Selling Author of Finding Peace: Healing from Loss, Neglect, Rejection, Abandonment, Betrayal, and Abuse. Learn more at www.troyllove.com.

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